Recuperating From My Past

Once in my lifetime when I was traveling through the storms and whirlpools of my dreams, you extended your hand to support me to expatiate my goals. You were the one who shore up when I was deluded in my race; moments of suffering became ladders for my future moves with the encouragement I got from you. I contemplated our friendship would never become dreary like the sun, which always shines bright in the sky. But couldn’t envisage that the sun too loses its significance at the hours of darkness. Jealousy that people once had on our relationship is now changed to a feeling of sympathy. Everything, which I once did, was well appreciated by you, but anything I do now is considered as foolishness. The days when you were angry on me were far better than the silence prevailing now between us. Don’t know whether the storm of time wiped away the memories of me from your heart, but still they are glittering like gold in my thoughts. I pray god to give me a time machine to get back your sweet friendship incarcerated in the claws of time. “Time is the healer says many” but “Time has become a barrier” in my life separating me from your sweet friendship.

I m not here to tell you my dear that I m back of you all the time pointing your mistakes, I m here to say that lets not loose ourselves in the disguise of busyness. There were people who came into my life to separate me with my pals but they couldn’t succeed because our friendship was as hard as a granite rock. I still remember the days I was tortured badly by their evil deeds, but god is there who always try to bond me with all my pals. Wrong steps in life are very dangerous sometimes, career of mine was walking on a tight rope due to the ugly companion, which I once had. But when I realized what is right in my life, I was already dragged back miles from my destination. The stupid gullible nature I have is the cause of all the wrong in my verve. Friendship is not always fruitful with everyone but flourishes well only with some special ones. Cant try to forget all the dark fragments of my life, but hope those days never come again in my future.

Friends are like flowers, which are beautiful to look at, but sometimes we encounter dreadful flora with attractive deluding attire. The venom they pass into us sometimes gets clouded in our mind restricting us to thing what is right and what’s wrong. Sometimes I pity myself when I think of my past, I lost many things, which I supposed to have in my memory treasure. I still remember when I was aloof sitting alone in the tranquility when every one of my pals was enjoying the outing. Tears are just dripping from my eyes thinking of my dark times in life. But still I m now able to recover from the torments I faced in the past. What I want to convey is never be fooled with the sweet words of people nor their attire, I know we cant guess the mentality of the person in the first instant but try not being carried away by their cheap disguises.

Carton Of Memories

The twilight has given an indication to birds to get back to their dwelling; the sky turned its tint from bright white to pale yellow. Envisaging the golden color as a symbol of pure love I walked near the sea shore, suddenly a piece of paper came flying towards me, I pepped into it with curiosity, there I could find words which were pretty shaky in appearance, seeing them I could make out that they were hand written by an elderly person. I could slowly grasp the essence of it. It was a letter to god it goes in this way

“To my best friend of my life-The Almighty, I had completed all the tasks that you assigned me in my lifetime now want to meet you, I m just starting from here please receive me when I reach your home”. I was shocked seeing this sentences, I was in a state of confusion whether it is a suicide note. Then with more anxiety I went further into the letter, but it was already half wet and the ink spread through out the paper making it illegible. I folded it and kept in my sack. Something was disturbing my sight on the seashore, a white image moving fast towards the sea. I ran towards it with a great pace and could find an old man marching towards the sea, I pushed him back and asked him why he wanted to move away from the world. He smiled at me and patted me on my back assuring me nothing happened and left away. I was totally confused about what all had happened. The next day I came to the same place expecting that the old man would again appear there, but he didn’t, when I was returning back home I saw this man with a small girl crossing the road, at first sight I thought he was taking the help of the small gal to cross the road, but I was wrong. The truth is, the small gal was blind and also was physically challenged; he was indeed helping her cross the road.

Slowly I followed him; he took the small gal to a building where I could find these words “Swami Vivekananda Trust”. I moved into it and found many such physically and mentally challenged children playing and studying. A dumb and abnormal boy who was about 12 years came to me smiling and was pointing to something. I couldn’t get what he was saying, then suddenly from my back a voice came saying “ He is asking you to take the blessings of lord Krishna’s idol back of you as u are new to this place”. I turned back and noticed a woman with flowers in her hand, she gave the flowers to me and said to visit the lord’s idol before I enter the building, I did it as she said, then I asked her who started this organization and all the whereabouts of it. She said, This is the organization started by “Prashanth dev tagoore” pointing to the man I followed until then, I was astonished when I knew that, a man who wanted to commit suicide is indeed a founder of such a huge charity trust. I briskly walked to the old man and asked him “Sir I m really grateful to meet you can I know the reason for your suicide attempt the other day near the sea?”. He smiled at me saying what all I thought was wrong. He continued “ The other day I didn’t attempt for a suicide as u thought, every Thursday I come to the sea shore with a half written letter and a hand kerchief with me”. I knew something about that letter but what is this handkerchief, was curious in finding that. He started to explain me the story.

He was a businessman in his youth, he used to bring pieces of foreign cloth from countries like Burma, China, and Philippines, and used to make extensive garments from them and sold it at profit. One day he encountered a huge loss in his business and in due course his mills were sealed forever, he was just left with a handkerchief that he brought from China. He decided not to live anymore because the humility he was facing from the society was unbearable, he started writing a letter to god saying he cant live anymore and before he could complete the letter he threw it on the seashore and ran towards the sea to move away from the world forever. But a hand pushed him towards the shore saying u have no right to kill yourself, “god is the one who brought you into this world and god only has the right to kill you”.when he turned back he could see a young girl who was physically challenged and was pointing out to herself and was saying” Sir I m totally deprived of everything have no hands to catch articles no proper legs to run and chase my targets if I know the reason of living why cant you sir”. Tears rolled out from him he then decided to set up a new industry and compensate his losses and there by also started the organization in the name of “Swami Vivekananda Trust” where in helping the physically and mentally challenged was the prime motive of the trust. So from then on every Thursday he writes the same letter which he did years ago and would throw it and leave a handkerchief in the sea to make him remember the incident which changed his life.

Listening to all this I decided one thing in my life, one statement registered in my life forever “ Life is not to just live and let live it’s a wonderful boon given to us by god to know its true meaning and help others know what it means in the real sense”. Incidents just cant be thrown apart as memories but should be taken as instances of our moral and ethical development, the incident which I encountered is the best example of learning morals from it. Thanks to that instance of my life, which made me a complete human being by knowing the true meaning of living.

Change The Perception

The day when I would be in a position where people extol for my success, the day where there is no further scope of any worries, that day I would change my motive of living, what did I do until then was just to make myself satisfy my needs, but what I do from then should influence people’s life, altruism should become one of my traits, I don’t believe in helping people but I rely on motivating people to imbibe in them the quality of hard work. I want to change the fate of people who have been for ages immersed in the cave of paucity. Want to erase the thoughts of fortune from the minds of talented youth by inculcating in them the statement “Hard work is the brick which build the edifice of fortune”. Want to remove the words hunger and illiteracy from the lexicon of living. May be what all I dream is impracticable but motivating people against some erroneous thinking may create at least a way for the countries bright future.

People are sometimes more cautious on what they do they just think of their living rather than their future. Yes I m talking of those who are more inclined towards the money they get for selling their right to vote. Money is the prime motive of them but they never ever have a thought that they are ruining their own life for the sake of one day’s living. They just tend to move in the night without a candle light and ultimately lock themselves in the cages of darkness. They don’t think that the people they lift up to make him sit on the thrown are indeed pushing them beneath to prosper in their own life. We cannot blame on the government for its deeds because we are the one who have made the so-called regime; we are solely responsible for giving them the status of power. I want to change the thinking of the people for building a prosperous realm.

Youth are the pillars of the nation, of course they are, but when the pillars don’t involve in carrying the burden of the building, its sure to crumple. Swami Vivekananda’s principles are long been left out and forgotten. Youth are totally immersed in their own life’s embellishment, love is one such word which changed its meaning when it entered into the narrow hearts of today’s youth. Love is such a great feeling, which our patriots once had on our nation. Meaning of true love can be learned from our parents it self, there is no fault in craving for a love of a person, but we need to know the true meaning of it before we practice it. India once considered being a symbol of true cultural heritage has now lost its legacy. Imbibing foreign traits is not at all a wrong idea, but blurring our culture by dodging away from the morals is like stabbing ourselves to prove our bravery. Youth should step forward to educate the illiterates, should help people who are living in dire poverty financially and ethically. Lets us protect ourselves from being carried away by attractive foreign elements. Let us give importance to values rather than dollars. Reading this may not excite you with inspiration but I m sure it will sow a seed of thinking in your mind.

The True Rationale of Living

What did I do to hang me with a rope of torments, what did I commit to poke me with the needles of anguish, what I ever did to starve me without a sweet counter. Dreams that I dreamt are far away from my reach, wishes that I aspired are disparaging me of my failure. What happened to my life’s horizon which I visualized every now and then. Oh god please release me from the thoughts of my failures harden my mind to be head strong towards my objectives, strengthen my soul to compete with the unexpected, give me a morale to swim forward to hit the hill of queries. Regretting myself I closed my room’s door with a shut and went towards the darkness beside my house. There in the moonlight a small picture suddenly hit the cornea of my eye, my eyes were not willing to see anything else except that scene. There in the small hut was a small gal trying to catch a fly with all the means she could, she failed badly in all her attempts but during her every attempt she observed carefully how the fly is escaping from her, she could envisage what would be the future move of the fly. This time she tried differently she had an eye on one direction and the movement in the opposite. With a big jump she shouted hard that she made it. That shout was the turning point of my life, I knew many things in life due to that girl. I observed the patience in her when she tried attempt after attempt, I could feel the conjecture that she made from her every attempt. Now the same things I practice in my life’s journey. That small girl has changed a man who was a highlighter of failure to an exemplar of achievement.

There are many instance where in a man’s altruism becomes a source of inspiration to others, let me give a real life’s incident which could itself explain what is the motive and reason of living. I saw a person who was in his 30’s passing by a railway crossing with a great pace, at first sight I thought that the person might have been in a hurry to go somewhere, but later I was more worried what was actually going on there. And to my surprise two trains were rushing with a great pace on two adjacent tracks on one of them was the person I saw. I ran towards him to save him, but the moment the train came he disappeared from there. Later when the two trains passed away I saw another girl with him, both of them talking to each other in a sad tone. I couldn’t properly hear what they were discussing, slowely when I went to them and asked them what had actually happened, the man started telling that he actually had come here to commit suicide because he could not bare the tensions in his life, but mean while found this gal who was also ready for a suicide because of her personal problems, he indeed saved her life by pushing her away from the track. I was shocked listening to this, a man who is dejected in his life and has nothing in his mind than to commit suicide has indeed given a life to another lady by saving her. This incident has taught me what humanity is, Trained me that humanity is the foremost attribute that every person should have. What I mean to say is how much we earned or how we prosperd In life is not important, how much space we occupied in peoples hearts is what is important. Lets try to build that humanitarian attribute in ourselves, lets try to wipe away the ignorance in the people who have no knowledge about the other side of darkness that is the sunshine in their life. Live and let live should not be the trait, but we need to teach the real reason of ones living.

Eternal Friendship

Exquisiteness was your attribute, compassionate is your character. How should I express what you are to me, your beloved words imbibed by every atom of my body, lucky I m I should say to receive your sweet compliments you seldom uttered. Dearness in your every word caring in your every action made me mad in every faction. Wasn’t it funny sometimes when I express my feeling saying u could be my dearest darling. Your luminous smile had already surpassed the lightening of a storm. Your features have been conceived in every moment of my life. Looking back my past what I had with me and weigh against what I m today shows a sharp contrast highlighting your influence in every stream of my life. Clouds of time have long been passed but still my heart is not willing to abscond from the memories of you. You may be perplexed sometimes to see me immersed in your thoughts, but my dear you too know that the feeling of we is far better than the thought of me. Please liberate me from the cage of your memories please don’t desert me all alone in the empty land were I cant find you the oxygen of my life. Piles of unending queries are haunting me every moment saying you are the one who have lit the once darkness in my living. How foolish I m thinking about you being away from my life because that doesn’t happen as my soul always stray at your foot prints.

Now that I m flying aimlessly like a kite isolated from its source, I have an iron confidence that I could one day get the grapes on the tree which I once considered to be sour. Achievement is not what I solely want, but I want you my dear to watch and pat me at my success. My life’s dish is incomplete without the taste buds of your friendship. Existence is not that I require in my life nor I would just say that I should be what I want to be, I just want the life where u and your friendship is always with me. Life has many more impediments to come in its way in the near future, but u are the one who are able to burn the confidence fuel in my heart to make my way smooth. I many times imagine a day where I m free from all the torments and can give an allusion to my success as you. I don’t mind what people around me feel but I m very particular what u feel about my approach. Definition of many words in my life have been fulfilled by the inspiration u always provide me. Don’t know whether an storm struck field would ever revive, but I m sure u can stimulate every single vitality of my life. Cant at all predict what is the future but my dear friend u r the exact exemplar of a true friendly nature.

U AND ME

One day my dear I would like to be u, experience all what u did in your life feel the love that u received from me, feel the caring that u experienced from me. What is there in my life without you what would be the word we without me. Confused I m now why is this forsaken feeling drenching me, perplexed I m y are u moving away from my life. Mistakes are neither from me nor from u but happened in the milieu of exchange between us. The day u will move away from me I curse the day to be night all the way. Cant afford to loose u my friend after all u and me are the true meaning of my life. Seasons have passed from the day I heard from you, don’t try telling that there is nothing new.

Busy is the word u utter every moment but cant u judge how I crave for u. please don’t leave me in the dessert of emotions. Because I cant swim the river of howling. Do u remember how we had a beautiful gossip and the smiles we shared. Gone are those days when I was enlightened by your sweet little smile. People are now more inclined to their business than their previous past. Memories cant be forbidden from our lives because they play a very important place in thy life. The names we had once registered in our hearts cant be wiped away by the time, the witty things that we did cant be hided in the blanket of reserve ness . let the future run away at its own speed but I m with u always to guide u the way in the storm of newness. Friend cant be one who always there with you but can be the one whose presence is always felt even if they are apart. Hope one day in the night’s tranquility u remember me, my arms are always stretched to find u in the ocean of memories.

One last word I would like to convey my dear never ever have a thought of loosing me as I always bond u as your life cover. Restless u may become in the race of futures tide, but remember me as an aspirin of your pain. Come my dear lets step forward and make our dreams fulfilled though u there and I m here. God bless each other and our friendship lasts forever.